Are you caught in a cycle of rotating emotions that negatively impact your life? Recently a friend wrote, “The longer I’m alone, the more I hate myself and the more I hate myself, the more depressed I get. The more depressed, the more I isolate myself from people, making me lonely and allowing the self hatred to rule my world.” If you have ever felt like this, I’ve heard of way to eliminate debt that might help you solve your cycle dilemma…
Rather than putting money toward the biggest bill, you pay off the smallest bill. Then, you take the payment you were paying to the smallest bill and apply that amount to the payment of the next highest bill. You keep doing this until the payment amounts on all the smaller bills get applied toward the payment for the largest bill. Before you know it, and without having to raise your total monthly payment amount, you are totally out of debt!
So let’s say your emotions are bills. You have three hefty ones – loneliness, self-hatred, and depression. You have been paying big emotional payments on each one for many months. Which of them is the strongest one? Which of them is the weakest one? Choose the weaker one and put all of your effort into clearing it out of your life. When that one is gone, put all your effort into the next strongest one. When that one is gone, I’m going to guess the last one won’t be as strong and you’ll be able to get rid of it, too.
For example, if you pick loneliness as the weakest one, you could put all your efforts into calling friends and family, sending emails to every person on your contact list, being brave to go out and meet new people, joining a support group, going to church, taking a class – anything and everything you can think of. You’d put all your efforts into not being alone anymore. You don’t have to think about the other two emotions while doing this, just give them the minimum payment due (which is just acknowledging their presence) and nothing more. Once you have people in your life on a regular basis, you won’t feel so lonely and you can work on your next “bill.”
Let’s say that the next strongest one is self-hatred. You would transfer all the energy that you put into becoming social again and pour it into learning how to love yourself. The people in your life would certainly be willing to help you with that. And, you could get a counselor to provide tools for healing. You could study the concept of love and see what you can discover. You could glean more insights from your friends. As you heal from your past, hear the encouraging words of loving people in your life, and tune in to the love of God that is flowing all around us, you could learn to love yourself. That bill would be paid off.
Your last step then is to eradicate the depression by using the power of your relationships and your self-love to lift your spirit out of the depths. It can happen! Just do it one step at a time.
You cannot tackle all your emotions at the same time. That’s what you’ve been trying to do and that’s what perpetuates the cycle. No one has the resources to do that. So, pick one that you can do something about, then choose a course of action and be diligent to remove that one emotion’s negative power from your life.
If one of the three is gone, there is only an exchange. When there’s only one, there isn’t even an exchange. When all three are gone, you are free. The cycle is broken.